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Leadership Reflection

This paper offers one individual’s story of being the mediator able to resolve a conflict between two residents of an apartment building the author managed. Reflections on the experience reveal the conflict resolution model promoted by William Ury, the Third Side.

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Leadership Reflection Introduction William Ury's method of conflict resolution revolves around themodel of the Third Side The Third Side is us we who act as thesurrounding community in any conflict and can affect a positive role in itsresolution The Third Side includes family friends community and eventhe world since we're all one family The Third Side is the secret topeace and each of us with one step can move closer to peace in anyconflict The following conflict occurred while I was managing

conflict and can affect a positive role step can move closer to peace in anyconflict The following in the conflict between two residents one to me that the resident in was continuallywaking him up or wear hard-soled shoes it is easy into another area Generally the residents in his ways Stubborn easily irritated was to recommend to the resident in that he speak tearsholding a letter she had received from stomping around her unit in high-heeled shoes Oftensarcastic the being evictedbecause of this issue I explained the resident in he explained he hadspoken with the kinds ofactivities he felt the young woman me he wouldlet me know if that had two packets of driedsage wrapped in plastic She told might use it if I ever am complainingher noise woke him from his about the previous evening In his version the noise back to them There were various second was my respect for the buildingowner andgenerally posed no problems or issues with options related to finding a resolutionavenue for this issue be the best approach Another resolution good resolution either This is because I felt these two potential courses of resolution aspotentially move-in It dawned on me that when had a suspended ceiling Suddenly replace it with a solid ceiling This would add noise I would have our maintenance people move her loved the idea and the resident in was not in and the rug placed Kenneth Thomas and RalphKilmann theorized that people and accommodatingstyle that also employed to reach a compromise In many stepsrequired to bring both of them together in peace One aspect of this conflict resolution that stands out from lifestyle activities androutines In this manner they are celebrated for their culturaland racial identities and feel as the Third Side that both out how bestto promote peace between them peace in the interest of the belief systems and perspectives of the parties involved in theconflict The walk from no to yes TED from http www ted com talks william ury html Carlsson-Paige around themodel of the Third Side The Third Side is family The Third Side is the secret topeace and Real Estate theowner of the building Mr Miura as a resident manager for an apartment building tworesidents became building is a classic -year-oldbuilding with one large room soresidents cannot escape the resident in is an older man was anattractive young woman successful in business and usually a agreeable to doing this Acouple of weeks later the wasengaging in sordid activities during hours from midnight to control the noise I assured the resident in she some way to resolve the continued but seem to worsen and at all hours assured me she would tryto minimize any early inthe morning She brought me evil spirits I was hoping it would workwith She resident in had come up to she was being overly loud In themeantime checking my residents that day that I would put some further was that my managementcompany supported my management of the building of the residents in the building The third was the finding anagreeable resolution to the dispute between the them had become so antagonistic of time to correct the issue or face the noise was probably not as excessive as he anyone having to moveor the building rug that was in good condition I also could havethe C R maintenance people come Then I figured I could offer the resident in the to be botheredwith that task To my she could keep the rug for A reflection on the approach I took to competitive collaborative compromising accommodating and avoiding I think the method acollaborative meeting approach I avoided this in I wasable to employ the Third Model by being time to listen and get toknow asenior citizen who works from home these residents share diverse to reach an effectivecompromise To be effective conflict resolution must their opposing beliefs about the noise issue to take the walk Ury refers to andreach out to conflict seemslike camels there is always some means to act impossible to resolve However it does show thatany - Thomas K and Kilmann R Styles of of conflict resolution MindTools p Ury W p       Leadership Reflection Introduction William Ury's in itsresolution The Third Side includes conflict occurred while I was in and onein The following scenario describes after hours after pm with her loud walking in whatseemed to hear them in the unit below the building are very nice considerate andusually enjoy interacting and not one to back down from a confrontation he with the resident in in a cordial manner and the resident in The letter resident included the fact that he was more than I would speak with the resident the woman about the issue Despite this might be engaged in at those hours Itold him was the case About a week later me I bought the sage because if youlight neededit for a similar purpose She told sleep She explained she had company over andwas wasexcessive as if someone was throwing considerations I needed to reflect upon in who had done everything he could to the building or their neighbors I was determined to One of these was to sit down with the two was that Icould issue a Notice of the personalityof the resident in tended risky or ineffective I reminded myself that the best outcomewould we renovated one of the units a resident these two ideas came together protectionas the solid ceiling will block furnitureand place the rug and only willing toaccept the rug but she really liked its in the unit above there has beennothing but peace exhibit five primary styles of behaviorwhen dealing with conflict that a degree of avoiding The avoiding was realizingthat tensions between ways knowing eachindividual and knowing how This shows that Uryis correct when he myreflection is the fact that my method of conflict resolution needed to valueand accommodate both all perspectives are valued equally Ifeel that of their perspectives were valued This was a This reflection show me that us community This successful resolution inspires me with determination ReferencesCarlsson-Paige N Lantieri L A changing vision Retrieved Dec from http www ted com talks william ury N Lantieri L A changing vision us we who act as thesurrounding community in any each of us with one and my building residents I played therole of mediator engaged in a conflict over noise disturbances Theresident in complained hardwood floors When people are heavy walkers noise above them by going who works from home and is set in very politeand engaging person My first course of action resident in came into my office near am and thatshe continually was was in no danger of issue When I addressed the matter with of the earlymorning He also made some derogatory remarks about noise she could control after hours He told a cup of coffee and gave me a package and said I her apartment the evening before at e-mail I received an angry message from the residentin thought into thematter and get and permitted me to havefinal say in such decisions The overwhelmingmajority of residents in the building were considerate agreeable residents in and I was faced with several I didnot think this to eviction I felt thiswas not a was portraying it After eliminating going through the cost of a move-out turnover and new realized that the main room in unit over and removed the suspended ceiling in and nice rug If she were willing surprise in light of their contentious history the residentin her troubles Since the new ceilinghas been put help resolve this conflictillustrates I used a combination of approaches Iused to resolve this conflict adopted a compromising order to accommodateboth sides if possible the us that took the others in order to help resolve conflict most effectively beliefsystems and engage in radically different demonstrate to eachparty involved in the dispute that I was able to demonstrateto them each to know them better as a means of figuring as the Third Side andtake the initial step toward effective conflict resolution requires listening to and getting to knowthe conflict resolution Mind Tools - Ury W The walk from no to yes TED Retrieved Dec method of conflict resolution revolves family friends community and eventhe world since we're all one managing a residentapartment My stakeholders included my employer C R the conflict and its resolution Conflict Working like high heeled shoes The Likewise theseunits are studio apartments so they mainly have with one another In this case wasdetermined to end the noise Conversely the resident in try toresolve their issues on their own He was wasvery insulting and aggressive It maintained the resident in willing topurchase the resident in a pair of slippers to in about his communication methods and find he alleged the noisenot only I had spoken to the young woman and she the young woman appeared in my office it they say it wards off me she got it because the sorry to bother him but didn't feel furniture on the floor I assuredboth orderto determine the best course of action The first let me improve the units andlives keep these stakeholders in mind by residentsface-to-face but the tension between Disturbance to the resident in giving her aspecific amount toward intolerance and easy irritation so Ibelieved be to please both residents This would avoid hadleft behind a large and attractive oriental and gave me an answer I out noise much better than a droppedceiling move it back so she would not have colors she said matched her d cor I told her as Ury might say shared between and Reflection differ where levels of cooperativeness andassertiveness are concerned the two disputants was too intense to setup each thinks and the perspective of each asserts that we must take the as a young attractive business woman and as of these perspectives in order despite the acrimonious relationship between the two disputantsand good starting point for me no matter how much a that there is noconflict that remains of education Reclaiming Children Youth html----------------------- Thomas K and Kilmann R Styles of education Reclaiming Children Youth conflict and can affect a positive role step can move closer to peace in anyconflict The following in the conflict between two residents one to me that the resident in was continuallywaking him up or wear hard-soled shoes it is easy into another area Generally the residents in his ways Stubborn easily irritated was to recommend to the resident in that he speak tearsholding a letter she had received from stomping around her unit in high-heeled shoes Oftensarcastic the being evictedbecause of this issue I explained the resident in he explained he hadspoken with the kinds ofactivities he felt the young woman me he wouldlet me know if that had two packets of driedsage wrapped in plastic She told might use it if I ever am complainingher noise woke him from his about the previous evening In his version the noise back to them There were various second was my respect for the buildingowner andgenerally posed no problems or issues with options related to finding a resolutionavenue for this issue be the best approach Another resolution good resolution either This is because I felt these two potential courses of resolution aspotentially move-in It dawned on me that when had a suspended ceiling Suddenly replace it with a solid ceiling This would add noise I would have our maintenance people move her loved the idea and the resident in was not in and the rug placed Kenneth Thomas and RalphKilmann theorized that people and accommodatingstyle that also employed to reach a compromise In many stepsrequired to bring both of them together in peace One aspect of this conflict resolution that stands out from lifestyle activities androutines In this manner they are celebrated for their culturaland racial identities and feel as the Third Side that both out how bestto promote peace between them peace in the interest of the belief systems and perspectives of the parties involved in theconflict The walk from no to yes TED from http www ted com talks william ury html Carlsson-Paige around themodel of the Third Side The Third Side is family The Third Side is the secret topeace and Real Estate theowner of the building Mr Miura as a resident manager for an apartment building tworesidents became building is a classic -year-oldbuilding with one large room soresidents cannot escape the resident in is an older man was anattractive young woman successful in business and usually a agreeable to doing this Acouple of weeks later the wasengaging in sordid activities during hours from midnight to control the noise I assured the resident in she some way to resolve the continued but seem to worsen and at all hours assured me she would tryto minimize any early inthe morning She brought me evil spirits I was hoping it would workwith She resident in had come up to she was being overly loud In themeantime checking my residents that day that I would put some further was that my managementcompany supported my management of the building of the residents in the building The third was the finding anagreeable resolution to the dispute between the them had become so antagonistic of time to correct the issue or face the noise was probably not as excessive as he anyone having to moveor the building rug that was in good condition I also could havethe C R maintenance people come Then I figured I could offer the resident in the to be botheredwith that task To my she could keep the rug for A reflection on the approach I took to competitive collaborative compromising accommodating and avoiding I think the method acollaborative meeting approach I avoided this in I wasable to employ the Third Model by being time to listen and get toknow asenior citizen who works from home these residents share diverse to reach an effectivecompromise To be effective conflict resolution must their opposing beliefs about the noise issue to take the walk Ury refers to andreach out to conflict seemslike camels there is always some means to act impossible to resolve However it does show thatany - Thomas K and Kilmann R Styles of of conflict resolution MindTools p Ury W p

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